A beautiful poem from the perspective of the writer’s 12 year old self.

Written by: Mariahlyn Elvers from Calgary, Alberta.

“Dear mom and dad, I need you to understand

I don’t mean to leave hair everywhere, on the floor, my bed or even my hands

Please don’t shout or punish me

This is the hardest battle I’ve ever fought you see

I hate what I’m doing more than you know

If I could stop I would have stopped, before it started to show

When you yell at me and reduce me to tears

You’re confirming my fears

Fears that I’ll never be who you wanted me to be

When I look in the mirror it’s not the face I want to see

I want to be beautiful and lovable

But this disorder is taking its toll

I know you had dreams of a lovely child

Never have you dreamed of one so, doing something so wild

I want to make you proud

I’m crying out for your love, I’m crying out so loud

I need you

For I have no idea what I’m supposed to do

This is painful and confusing and I can’t do this alone

I’ll need your love long after I’ve grown

please listen to the sound of my cries

as the tears roll down my cheeks from my eyes

I need you to hold me tonight

I need to hear you love me and that you’ll help me fight

Sometimes all I need is your snuggle

To help me get through this struggle.”

–

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash