Guest Blog written by Emma Bowers:
Most of us who struggle with Trichotillomania and other BFRBs just want to know – WHY? Why me? Why can’t I just stop? Will I ever get better, or will I be this way for the rest of my life? The truth is, getting better and recovering from this disorder all starts with you. It’s your choice, and you have to be willing to do whatever it takes.
My name is Emma Bowers, and I have struggled with Trichotillomania for almost 15 years. I’m a 19 year old (soon to be 20) College Student from South Carolina. I still remember the first time I ever pulled my eyelashes out when I was only 5 years old. Since then, I have been pulling out both my eyelashes and eyebrows, which I feel is triggered by anxiety. The feeling of having no control over this can be so overwhelming at times. I see what it does to not only me, but also my family. I would imagine it is one of the most stressful things someone could possibly go through. I am blessed with two of the greatest people in the world as my parents. My parents are two of the most supportive and loving people I know. For as long as I’ve suffered from this, they have constantly worried about me and tried to help me in every way possible. As much as I appreciate them, I’ve spent the longest time trying to just brush the subject off, deal with it, and simply accept the fact that I will probably always be like this.
I just recently found out what Trichotillomania was. I spent so long thinking that I was the only one in the world who dealt with this, and then I found out that this is a disorder… and that there are millions of people out there just like me who are going through the same thing! I found some comfort in knowing that it isn’t only me, and that there are people out there who can relate so deeply to me and what I go through everyday of my life. I never asked for help or was willing to accept it because I didn’t want to talk about it. Anytime the subject was brought up, I just wouldn’t say anything. I’m sure just like me, this isn’t a subject that is easy or enjoyable to discuss. But, the truth is that the most important thing you can do is to talk about it. Although it may be difficult and uncomfortable at first, I can promise you that it will be beneficial. Opening up about your feelings is so much better than keeping everything inside you.
I wear fake eyelashes and use an eyebrow pencil every single day. Most people never even notice. I’m always complimented on my eye makeup. It’s very rare that someone notices that my eyelashes aren’t real. I haven’t told many people about this at all. The only ones who know are my family and a couple of my closest friends. I just realized how important it is that I receive the proper help for this problem. I know I can’t go on like this for the rest of my life. It’s no way to live. I’m going to be starting with a therapist and a psychiatrist and the end of this month and I am excited to start recovering from this.
To everyone out there suffering from this, I encourage you to ask for help. People care and want to help you. Everyone goes through something, it’s life. We all have our own struggles and we need to find ways to overcome them. It may be hard at times but I promise it will be worth it. If you keep a positive attitude, you will have positive results. You are strong enough to overcome this. You have the power to put this disorder behind you and keep moving forward in your life. You are not alone, and there are millions of us out there suffering everyday. We can all let go of this disorder if we never stop trying. Look at yourself everyday and just know that you are beautiful no matter what. Never let anyone tell you that you are anything but beautiful. I am here for anyone that needs someone. All I want to do is to help the people that I can relate the most to. Stay strong and don’t ever lose hope.
Follow Emma on Social Media:
- Twitter – @emmambowers
- Instagram – emmambowers