Home > Featured News > A Letter to my 12 Year-Old Self

I can still feel the pain, embarrassment and helplessness of being my 12 year-old self, as if it was yesterday. 14 years have come and gone, but the emotions attached to the year I started pulling out my hair are still hauntingly vivid.

If I had something like CBSN back in the day, I might have learned some of the lessons listed below much earlier. I could have saved myself from a ton of pain and tears. I wouldn’t have felt so alone or strange. I needed CBSN back then, but I am glad to have it now. If my parents, teachers or my friends had somewhere they could learn about what was happening, would things have been different? CBSN’s ultimate goal is to create awareness about BFRBs, so that people know they are NOT alone. I never had a CBSN, so let’s make sure this generation does.

If I could tell my 12 year-old self about how things will turn out, I would say the following:

  • The situation you are in right now is temporary
  • Your parents/siblings mean well, although you might take it differently
  • This is not your fault
  • Right now may seem like the end of the world, but trust me, there are better days ahead
  • Those kids who taunt you day after day will not remember what they did or how they made you feel, but you will always remember what it felt like to be on the receiving line of their actions
  • You feel ugly now, but you are beautiful
  • You will find amazing new friends who are just as strange as you (in all the right ways)
  • You will go to school to help other kids just like you
  • You will like yourself for who you are – imperfections and all
  • You will overcome everything you feel like you can’t take at this moment
  • You are needed
  • You will meet someone and fall in love
  • The pain and suffering you deal with on a daily basis will come to an end
  • The kids & teachers who are making your life a living hell, will soon become a memory
  • You will look back on this time and consider it just a tiny part of your life story
  • You will be accepted
  • You will be a great member of society

If you could write a letter to yourself at the age when you developed your BFRB, what would you say?

CBSN Founder – Sarah

Follow her on Twitter: @skrobertson89


The Sarah We Knew Then…




The Sarah we know now..



5 Comments, RSS

  • Crystal

    says on:
    February 17, 2016 at 10:20 am

    Your story is so inspiring.

    About 5 months ago I noticed my 10yr old daughter had bald spots.

    I started to do research immediately because we have been dealing with anxiety with her for about a year and a half.

    We now know for sure that she has trichotillomania.

    She wears a hat to bed because that is her worst time as well as watching TV, doing homework etc.
    She takes n-acetylcysteine but I was wondering if there is anything else we can do for her.

    Also I was wondering if there is any conection between being a preemie having eczema and trichotillomania?

    Any information you have would be much appreciated

    Thank you
    Concerned mom

  • Sarah

    says on:
    April 13, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    I’m so glad I found this site. Thank you for sharing your story. Interestingly, I also started pulling out my hair around the same time you did (if I did my math correctly!). It’s just been over 14 years now (it started in October/November 2001). It’s a good feeling knowing I’m not alone. It’s also good knowing that trich isn’t the same as self-harm. I’m definitely going to favourite this page so I can come back to it in moments like this (as I type this, I’m pulling). I’m also going to send this link to family, so they know more about what I struggle with every day.

  • stephanie lavoie

    says on:
    October 27, 2016 at 3:47 am

    My name is Stephanie ,I started pulling my hair around 14 years now and well my journey and challenges are to long to explain but to sum it up my hair back then and my hole life was down to my bum and the first couple years it got Sao bad I handed up bold in so many spots and well I handed up shaving it all off and at the time I was fighting my first cancer and just ad add a little boy my first child anyway long story short I used my cancer as the reason y I shaved my head telling everyone that it was my way to fight and stand up to my cancer it was the perfect way out in a way my only other option was to open up and say out loud but most importantly tell everyone I knew. And I could not bare the embarrassment so I took the coward way out and so to this day very little people know about my trick. Anyway eventually I became cancer free and managed my trick so well that my hair grew so well and long again let’s be honest I never completely stop trick but toned it down enuf to grow my hair. Even with all the crazy challenges that I ad the years to come and well anyway about two years ago I started slowly pulling more as days went by and I do now have a six month old baby girl and I am a single mom since he abandoned us four months ago so u can imagine my pulling is getting bad and well I need help from someone that as trick too and help me get better and me help them get better I think it would be the best thing for me to get better then having someone understand and feel what I go trough so please anyone out there HELP ME OUT

    • stephanie lavoie

      says on:
      November 1, 2016 at 3:51 am

      I need someone to reach out and help

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *