If you’re familiar with the Canadian BFRB Support Network’s story at all, then you know that the organization started as a small gathering of people with trichotillomania and other body-focused repetitive behaviours (BFRBs) in our founder’s living room. It was an opportunity, a first for many, to meet and speak with others with these disorders. To give voice to our experiences, our fears, our concerns, our questions…our shame. It was a release of all we’d held inside for so long.
Although CBSN has grown beyond that one support group, peer support groups can still offer those same things to folks. The key here is peer. Our group leaders aren’t professionals in the field. They’re not clinicians that are going to try to diagnose you or send you to a doctor. They’re people with BFRBs too, and they get it. They understand the struggles of BFRBs and how healing isn’t a simple process.
The pandemic moved meetings to a virtual platform, but it’s still a chance to hear from and see folks who get it, and the truth of the matter is that can be healing. That can be a great step in BFRB recovery, whether you’re hosting the meeting or attending it.
We asked our group leaders a few questions about leading these groups and how they feel they contribute to their recovery. One of the key takeaways was finding language to talk about struggles with BFRBs and about BFRB recovery.
Vancouver Peer Support Group leader Jason Yu says that in the 6 months he’s been leading the group, it’s helped him navigate these topics and learn what they can look like, and the benefits of peer support groups.
“It enriches my understanding of support, like who needs what and when, how to communicate ideas in a coherent way, and how to host a safe space,” he says of leading the group.
Likewise, Olivia Bonardi, leader of Montreal’s Peer Support Group, notes that running the support group is a “wonderful way” to “help shape conversations about our disorders.”
It’s also a learning experience, which Bonardi highlights as well. “Every time I go to group, I learn something new. Truly!”
Over the years, we’ve heard from many who applaud peer support groups for the learning aspect, and Joyce, who leads CBSN’s Peer Support Group, agrees. She notes that leading the support groups has helped her with her own journey because it gives her the opportunity to learn from other people’s stories.
Angela Hartlin, leader of the Skin Picking Support group and formerly Halifax’s Peer Support Group, says she also benefits from the learning experience and the accountability.
“It helps keep what I’ve learned fresh, which also helps in dealing with relapses,” she says.
Relapses, setbacks—whatever you choose to call them—are a part of BFRB recovery, so having an outlet like a peer support group where you can actively discuss skills, methods, and just generally have conversations about your BFRB can be exceptionally beneficial. Don’t forget the support aspect of these groups either. The groups are designed to not only discuss BFRBs, but to offer a place where there are people who you can lean on.
Bonardi says she benefits from that part of the peer support group dynamic.
“Motivation and shame related to my BFRB are the two things I struggle with the most. I find that my motivation increases and shame decreases after every meeting.”
Peer support groups can also open you up to different perspectives. We all have our own way of thinking, and it can be helpful to hear from others because it gets us thinking about things in new ways.
For instance, Yu notes that leading a peer support group reminds him to not get tunnel vision regarding one method of BFRB recovery over another. For him, it’s about being mindful of “stopping all together” tunnel vision and noting that there are other ways BFRB recovery can take shape as well.
If you’ve ever thought about starting your own peer support group, maybe the input from our current leaders will give you some inspiration to do so. Each of our leaders recommends it.
“If you’re dedicated, persistent, and passionate about bringing people together, becoming a leader provides support that can be invaluable to those seeking help or a sense of community,” Hartlin says.
It’s important, however, to consider your own wellbeing and where you are in your own journey. While Joyce recommends leading since she benefits from doing so, she does note that it’s important to be in a place mentally and emotionally where you can offer support to others. It’s about making sure you’re good with your own recovery and journey before trying to help others with theirs.
Given that, maybe you’ll opt to start out with attending a support group first. Whichever you choose, we invite you to visit the links below to learn about starting a group, to find a group, or even to sign up for our newsletter if you’re interested in learning more about a group, dates, and times before attending.
- Start a Peer Support Group
- Find a Peer Support Group
- Sign up for the Peer Support Groups Newsletter
- Find a Peer Support Group (International)
Although we spoke with our leaders, know that these benefits of peer support groups can apply to anyone who is a part of them. Being a part of the group can give you a place to acknowledge what you’re going through and learn more about yourself, which are great beginning steps to BFRB recovery.